“If these five reasons don’t make a strong enough case for physicians to engage with their patients in advance care planning, here’s one more: it is simply the right thing to do.”
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“There should be a JLMA form: Just Leave Me Alone, for those of us who concede that we’re actually going to die some day and work to keep our end-times as inexpensive and comfortable as possible.”
“Your mother didn’t choose a terminal illness. She only chose not to let the disease pick when and how she would die.”
“What is fundamentally the difference between a doctor pulling a plug on a machine that provides lifesaving nutrients to a person that could potentially stay ‘alive’ on it for years, and a doctor prescribing pills to a person with mere days or months to live to end their unnecessary suffering?”
“I was reluctant to force the issue. What remained unsaid came with its own set of consequences.”
Most view dementia as a person leaving them. But they’re not. They’re evolving into a new person, similar but not exact. Their capacity to perform tasks and retain memory of recent events doesn’t disqualify them from continuing to be loved and treated with dignity and respect, especially when the end is near.
Had she been the family’s beloved old Labrador or suffering Boston Terrier, we would have taken her to the vet for a final loving, humane act, a choice unavailable to her family, doctors, or caregivers.
Although many individuals shy away from contemplating the inevitability of death, most would agree that they would like to die well. A new review of existing literature, published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, asks what makes a “good death” according to those involved in the process.
Don’t wait until you’re at death’s door to explore your passions, deepen your relationships and find your posse.
The most touching moments are those when I get to witness a client’s surrender to the natural course of things … when the control and desperation subside and acceptance fills the void.
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