Until now, there has been no form of advance directive that put these questions squarely in front of the person with early dementia. Last July, I published such a form.
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What if the laws intended to give people more control over dying actually fail many of those who need them most?
“At a time when a person with serious, debilitating illness and their loved ones are often ostracized, lonely, and feeling helpless, this kind of outreach felt – ironically – like a lifeline.” — Beverly Thorn
“Everyone gasped as the comatose patient slowly lifted her hand from the bed and began moving it in time to what I was singing.”
“Many memories are created through heart-based events, so it’s possible that dementia patients may have a repository of memories that reside inside their hearts.”
“Whose wishes for his medical treatment were we to honor? Those of my father back when he was a healthy, highly functioning geneticist? Or those of the simpler, weakened man my father had become?”
“Your mother didn’t choose a terminal illness. She only chose not to let the disease pick when and how she would die.”
“No one is born into this world alone, and in the best of circumstances, no one dies alone. With people living longer than ever before, however, outliving family and friends is a modern-day reality.”
Most view dementia as a person leaving them. But they’re not. They’re evolving into a new person, similar but not exact. Their capacity to perform tasks and retain memory of recent events doesn’t disqualify them from continuing to be loved and treated with dignity and respect, especially when the end is near.
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